playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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