I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
