I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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