sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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