his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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