he shaved USA in his pubs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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