i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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