Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
