i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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