Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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