It's like God shit irony all over that family
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I see more hoeing in ur future
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