she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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