You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
where am i from again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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