She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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