i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
