it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
