This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
