Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
birth control should be required to get into college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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