There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
