i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I supernannyed him into submission
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
