He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
