Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
