Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
