All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
