He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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