Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
