Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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