I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
