Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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