ya dads aren't the best wingmen
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
