..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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