C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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