how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.