I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.