you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.