ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.