Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

  (810): View more from Michigan

  With himself

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  (810): I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo (810): With himself http://tfl.nu/5c4h
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (935)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1246) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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  (613): i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is http://tfl.nu/6noa
  Replies (16) Good night (565) Bad night (3321) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I heard you threw up in your lap?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I heard that too.

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  (541): I heard you threw up in your lap? (1-541): I heard that too. http://tfl.nu/s86w
  Replies (9) Good night (1501) Bad night (3542) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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  (701): that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon http://tfl.nu/7qfo
  Replies (20) Good night (3320) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2543) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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  (870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god. http://tfl.nu/nsks
  Replies (8) Good night (2376) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?

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  (+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (2205) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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  (314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev
  Replies (18) Good night (2894) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.

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  (763): Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up. (763): I just baked them cookies. We're friends now. http://tfl.nu/27t6
  Replies (10) Good night (2497) Bad night (482)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.

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  (813): Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this. http://tfl.nu/u3i1
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.

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  (563): I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud. http://tfl.nu/0vsx
  Replies (9) Good night (1100) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.

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  (269): They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/6jfd
  Replies (9) Good night (243) Bad night (1237) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

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  (817): Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me. http://tfl.nu/booy
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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  (561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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