he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
