Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
