I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
