The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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