DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
