I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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