dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
