does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
