So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
