The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
