I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
