everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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