playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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