I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
