It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
