Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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