I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
