My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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