Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
