Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
