What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
