Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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