You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
