the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
