I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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