Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
