So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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