have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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