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Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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